


Every Tidal Wave Reminds You How Alone You Are...

by thisaccountisdone



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Yaoi, this is super gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-23
Updated: 2012-03-23
Packaged: 2017-11-02 09:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisaccountisdone/pseuds/thisaccountisdone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It begins when Stiles, Scott, and Derek go out to lunch and Stiles is having a bad day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Tidal Wave Reminds You How Alone You Are...

**Author's Note:**

> Written in about eight or nine hours with no beta and a very minimal readover.

_He could feel it creeping under his skin until inch by inch he couldn’t breathe. Every intake shuddered and wracked through him and he was sure all eyes were watching; waiting. It hadn’t happened quickly- just crept up until he suddenly came to the realization. But he wouldn’t say anything. He would sit idly by until it went away because it was a fluke. It had to be._

Somehow, he ended up at lunch with Scott and Stiles. He wasn’t quite sure what happened or what insanity led him to say yes. It must have been an awkward picture; him sitting there angrily holding a burger while Stiles and Scott laughed like everything was okay. (It was okay, right?) He ate slowly, measuring each movement, trying not to let anything show. Feeling nervous wasn’t unusual but this kind of nervousness was new. He hated it with a passion.

“So, Scott’s paying,” Stiles announced as he cleared the last bite of food on his plate.

Scott stopped chewing mid-bite and looked up blankly. “What?”

“Well, you’re the one who dragged me out here with Derek who- no offence, Derek- I don’t really like. Obviously I could have spent this time doing nothing _as per usual_. Also, I paid for you last time and the time before that and the time before that. Stop forgetting your fucking wallet, jesus christ.” Stiles’ voice was unusually low and angry and each word was a blow. Derek was sure there was a hole ripping straight through his stomach that could show the world straight to his soul. (Or lack thereof, as far as Stiles was concerned.)

“You know, Derek’s _right there_ ,” Scott replied, mouth full of food and eyebrows raised. He swallowed nervously and shot Derek a look like “I’m sorry please don’t rip out his throat”. Derek was tempted to just to spite him.

“Really? Because I hadn’t noticed. He knows I don’t like him- I don’t need to lie. This is a _trust circle_ … or acute triangle. You get what I’m saying.” Stiles sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. “Go pay, Scott, I can manage a few minutes alone with Mr. Werewolf.”

Scott looked back and forth between the two of them, head turning so quickly that Derek thought his neck would snap. His eyebrows were lowered in concern which was easily read as worry that if he left Stiles and Derek alone for a minute, he’d come back to find Stiles dead and bloody. Considering the expression on Derek’s face, _very_ bloody. Stiles shot him an annoyed look and Scott sighed. “Fine, but it’s your funeral.”

Stiles gave an exaggerated smile and watched Scott walk away before looking back at Derek. He cleared his throat loudly and began making awkward small talk. “So, how are you? Still wolfing out?” Derek glared at him and didn’t respond which Stiles took as an obvious sign to continue speaking. “Fine, stupid joke. Of course you are. You know, you’re positively _glowing_ today. It’s like the sun is shooting off you and birds are singing. I’ve never seen you so happy.” His voice dripped sarcasm.

Derek could feel the anger pulsing off him in waves. It clouded the air until his eyes stung. He wanted to know why but that would blow his cover and he didn’t expect Stiles to answer him. The sarcasm hurt; normally, Stiles wouldn’t be so bold. Sure, he would ramble and say something witty but he’d back off in fear before he went too far. But today he seemed to have a death wish. Nothing seemed to touch him.

“I thought those birds were singing for you,” Derek replied in a low growl.  
“Maybe. They probably don’t want to sing for a big bad wolf.”

“It’s a curse.”

Stiles smiled coldly. His lips pulled into a thin line. “I’m surprised you haven’t slammed my head into this table yet.”

“Do you want me to?” Derek asked, seriously considering it.

“I wouldn’t make you do anything you don’t want to.” Stiles leaned in, face too close for comfort. There was a brief flash of Derek pulling Stiles to him, kissing him hard until they both couldn’t breathe; lips tangled together like they would never part. In his mind, he could hear Stiles whimpering as Derek bit down softly on his lower lip and traced his tongue down his jaw. He could feel his nails digging into Stiles’ neck as he pulled him closer and the smell of fresh blood wafted through his nose. It was overwhelming and he wanted it _so much_.

Derek let out a slow breath, hoping it came off as annoyance, and cleared the image away. “Why wouldn’t I want to?” He gave a cold smile in return but his lips quavered and shook like shutters in a thunderstorm and he could imagine Stiles smiling smugly to himself, knowing he won. His heart was beating so loud- hammering away in his chest, hot and heavy- and he was sure even without werewolf hearing it was audible to the world.

At that moment, Scott decided to come back. He was waving a receipt around but his hand swiftly dropped to his side as he took in the sight before him. It looked like they were about to kill each other. He could feel the anger and hear both hearts beating quickly. The anger rose off Stiles in waves but Derek’s was mixed with something he couldn’t quite place. “Hey,” the word was drawn out loudly but neither Stiles nor Derek looked up. “Hey!” Scott yelled. Both heads shot up, faces drawn into silent snarls.

“Thanks for lunch,” Derek told him coldly, not looking back at Stiles. He pushed himself up from the table and stormed out the door, not caring to wait for a reply.

The doorbell jangled as it slammed shut. He watched Derek’s form retreat angrily down the street before turning to stare at Stiles. “What’s up with you today? I mean, you’re not normally _nice_ to him but you’re never like that.”

“Like what, Scott? Use small words; we wouldn’t want you to strain yourself.” His nails were digging into his palms so hard that Scott could smell the blood prickling up from the crescent shaped cuts.

“What’s going on with you? I’ve never seen you this angry.”

“I’m a teenager. Am I not allowed to angst? Isn’t that a normal teen thing?”

“Yeah, but it’s also a normal teen thing to _tell your best friend_. Which, might I remind you, _I am_.”

“Sorry, forgot that makes you entitled to my deepest personal feelings 24/7.”

“Normally it would! You usually tell me things. I’m _worried_ about you, man.”

“Sorry to bother you. Obviously it’s all I do.” Stiles got up hotly, the chair clattering to the floor under him. Scott tried to grab his arm but he shook him away. “Just leave me alone, okay?” Scott watched him  
stalk out the door, nails still digging into his palms.

*****

Derek lay in his bed thinking; ever thinking. He could feel Stiles’ rage like it was fresh. He could hear the bite in his words; feel the drum of his heartbeat. It was so unusual and god, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around Stiles and hold him until the anger went away. But he couldn’t face him. He couldn’t watch his resolve crumble just to end in the imminent rejection. Feeling weak and helpless was new but he couldn’t stop it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t make himself go over there. He couldn’t make himself feel that hatred and anger again.

He stared up at the ceiling, traced the shapes in the grooves, and wondered when it became something other than annoyance. It was never lust and he vaguely remembers begrudging acceptance. But when did it become _this_? This _love_. And god, that was all he could describe it as, wasn’t it? Fucking _love_. He wrapped his tattered pillow over his ears and buried his face in it. A shattered groan left his throat and echoed through his mind. There was a reason he didn’t get close to people. Somehow, Stiles managed to seep in between the cracks before he had time to notice.

He couldn’t have pushed Stiles away, if he wanted. Stiles and Scott were a two for one deal and came as a package. He already tried to get Scott to separate himself from his loved ones and it ended in disaster. And it’s not like he could abandon Scott, as annoying as he was. God, it was all so complicated and convoluted. The strings were mangled and knotted together and there was no way he could cut the cords; unravel the tapestry. The picture that flowed out was seamless and he wanted it. He wanted it to be seamless.

He growled and angrily punched the wall. Wood gave way and the house shook in response. It was so difficult. He was in too deep and drowning. There was no light to guide him and a storm was rolling in. He was going to drown in Sea Stilinksi.

*****

It was two days later that he saw Stiles again. He was roaming the forest as he was wont to do. He was clad in blue jeans and a dark hoodie, kicking up leaves until they swirled around him like a tornado. There was a storm brewing on his face and it only got darker when he caught sight of Derek. “What do you want?” he called out apathetically, head dropping to look back at the ground.

“This is my land. Is Scott with you?” He tried to keep the anxiousness out of his voice. His breath caught in his throat as Stiles looked up and directly into his eyes. Stiles’ own eyes were clouded and burning. There was so much passion that Derek couldn’t stand it. He made a show of looking around to see if Scott would come stumbling through the undergrowth any second.

“Do you not want to see me? Am I no good unless Scott’s around?” His voice had gone from dull to angry. Derek could feel the self hatred; almost taste it.

“Look, that’s not what I meant,” Derek replied, backtracking. His voice was soft and he stepped closer to Stiles. He reached out a hand to touch his arm. The younger boy flinched as if the touch scalded him and stepped back. “It’s just usually when you’re out, he’s around.”

“I’m my own person, you know?” Stiles responded bitterly but the anger was weaker.

“I know. Trust me, I know.” Derek sighed and stepped forward again. This time, when he gently placed his hand on Stiles’ arm, Stiles didn’t move. For a moment, silence was thick in the air.

“Why do you care?” Stiles asked suddenly. The moment broke and the air was tense once again.

“What do you mean?” Derek replied. His eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and concern.

“You’re usually all broody and mean. It’s not like your care about me. Why act like you do?”

“Is that what you think?” Derek asked, voice low and gentle. Stiles looked down. Derek softly cupped his jaw in his hand and brought his face up. Still, Stiles refused to meet his eyes.

“Yes.” The answer was a strangled whisper. Derek sighed and moved his hand to rub the back of his neck. Stiles’ face fell and he made no effort to look back up.

“I do care about you.”

“Why?”

“Why do you care why I care about you?”

Stiles grinned. It was tainted with sadness but still genuine. Derek’s lips tugged into a small smile in return. “You win. There, I smiled. Happy?”

“No… But it’s a start.”

“You didn’t answer me, though.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. I deserve an answer.” Stiles crossed his arms and stared defiantly up at him.

“Fine.”

“Don’t sound so put out. It’s like I’m asking for a kidney.”

“Shut up or I won’t answer you.”

Stiles promptly shut up.

“I don’t know. You’re smart and brave-“

“I’m not brave!”

“I said shut up.” Stiles glared at him and Derek quirked an eyebrow. “ _Anyways_ , you’re smart and brave and funny. I find you interesting. You’re like a puzzle. I can’t figure you out.”

“What kind of puzzle? Rubik’s cube? Crossword? Jigsaw?”

“Oh my god. You’re better when you’re sulking. I should have just left you that way.” Derek shook his head began walking away.

“Come on!” Stiles called out after him. “What kind of puzzle am I? And, after further thought, how good are you at solving them?”

Derek was silent for a moment but the answer came quickly. He turned back and walked forward until his body was nearly touching Stiles’. The boy’s breath caught in his throat and his heartbeat sped up. Derek’s voice was soft as he leaned in, hand moving up to stroke Stiles’ cheek.

“I don’t think I could ever solve you, Stiles.”

“I bet you say that to all the humans.” But Stiles grinned and leaned into the touch.

*****

They didn’t speak for a week but when they did again, there was an unspoken ease between them. They didn’t talk about that night. The only acknowledgement was how when Derek spoke to him, his voice was softer and Stiles sat closer to him more than usual. There were light, gentle touches that escaped Scott’s notice; Derek’s hand brushing Stiles’ back when he walked past him, their arms knocking together when they walked too close, Stiles playing with Derek’s hair when he was talking, just to trip him up.

But when Jackson arrived to training, those light touches became flashing signs and blaring red lights. He didn’t miss a single touch and smiled smugly at each one. Stiles pretended not to notice but Derek shied away, afraid to acknowledge it to the rest of the world. He moved away from Stiles and went to stand closer to Scott under the guise of needing to teach him something. Jackson filled the spot he left.

“Trouble in paradise?” he asked, voice seemingly concerned. (Stiles wasn’t buying it, however.)

“What do you mean?” Stiles replied without turning to him. His eyes were glued to Derek who was standing stiffer than ever, instructing Scott in some task that Stiles, for the life of him, couldn’t focus on.

“You know what I mean.”

Stiles sighed loudly. “We’re not together.”

“Doesn’t matter. Something’s obviously going on.”

“Why am I talking about my relationships with you?” Stiles finally turned to Jackson. His eyes were dark and his lips were drawn tightly together.

“So it is a relationship?” Jackson raised an eyebrow.

“No, not really. Like, sure we talk to each other and stuff but it’s not a _relationship_ relationship.”

“But you want it to be?”

“Yes,” Stiles burrowed his head in his hands, “Why do you care?”

“I can’t be nice for once? Plus, it’s fucking annoying watching you two play hot and cold when it’s obvious you want to hook up.” Jackson rolled his eyes and turned to watch Scott and Derek. His arms were crossed and Stiles imagined he could see the gears turning inside his head.

“I can’t decide if that’s selfish or you’re actually being nice.”

“Either way, it’s a onetime offer. I’m about to walk away.”

“Okay, fine, fine. Yes, I wouldn’t mind dating Derek. There. It has been said out loud, I can’t take it back.”

“Does he feel the same?”

“How should I know?”

“Do you see what we’re doing right now? Our lips are moving. It’s called talking, dumbass. Ask him how he feels.”

Stiles sighed and flailed his arms. “But I’m not _good_ at talking!”

“I couldn’t tell from how you _never shut up_.”

“No I mean about _feelings_. Talking about feelings to guys I like. It’s intimidating and he’s already intimidating enough. It’s like double scary.”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Jackson groaned, “Just suck it up and ask him.”

“You go ask him!”

“I’m not going to ask Derek fucking Hale if he has a crush on you. He’s probably listening to every word we’re saying, you know.”

Stiles swallowed hard. “I know. But, anyways, you’re more invested in our relationship than I am. I’m content to just sit here in my fear and watch this relationship stagnate.”

“We both know you’re not.”

“Yes, but we don’t have to say it _out loud_. That just confirms the fact that I totally like him and am unhappy with just _seeing_ him. And just, fuck!” He buried his head in his hands again. “Feelings are hard, oh my god.”

“Yes they are. But it’s your choice. Just know, if you two don’t deal with it soon, I will be forced to lock the two of you in a room together until you talk it out.”

“You dick!” Stiles gasped. Jackson nodded slowly and walked away, leaving Stiles to wallow in his thoughts.

Derek’s hands shook as he overheard the conversation. His thoughts were at war with one another. There was the safe knowledge that Stiles would say yes if Derek were to ask him out. Then there was the not quite as pleasant worry in the back of his mind. There was the thought that, if they got too close, Stiles could end up hurt. Whether by him or other werewolves or hunters, it didn’t matter. It was still something that chilled him to the bone.

Not to mention, Stiles was young. It could possibly just be a fleeting crush. The thought stung but he held onto it. It steeled his resolve and after awhile, it didn’t hurt when he told himself that it couldn’t happen. Stiles might hate him for it but it was for the best. There were so many reasons it wouldn’t work. And he couldn’t let himself get closer, anyways. He was the Alpha and he had a job to do. That job required staying cold and distant. If it hurt like hell, well, he could handle it. Anything for the pack.

His heart protested and it felt so, so wrong. He couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Stiles. It was better for everyone, though. Stiles would get over it- they both would. Maybe one day they would even laugh about it.

*****

After training, he pulled Stiles aside. “We need to talk.” His voice was low and emotionless; that same cold tone he used the first night they met.

“Damn right, we do. What the hell was going on with you earlier?”

“Listen, Stiles. We can’t do this.”

“What?”

“ _This_. We can’t be in a relationship.” Derek’s voice cracked and he let go of Stiles’ shoulders. His knuckles were white and there was a handprint embedded on the fabric of Stiles’ shirt.

“Why the fuck ever not?”

“It’s a bad idea; bad for the pack, for us… You.”

Stiles leaned in, eyes glowing with anger. “You can’t tell me what’s bad for me! I don’t _care_.”

“You’re young. You’ll get over it.”

“How do you know? How do you fucking know I’ll get over it?” He was screaming now. His vision blurred with tears and he choked out the words as if he had forgotten how to speak. Every syllable was like a knife stab to Derek but they would heal. Stiles’ hands were balled into a fist, nails digging deep, deep into skin.

“Stiles, calm down.” Derek reached out to put his hands on Stiles’ shoulder but he shook him away. He raised a fist to punch Derek’s stomach. It was hard and the blow hurt Stiles’ hand more than it hurt Derek but he didn’t care.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” He hit Derek again and again until finally Derek caught his wrists. He held them as Stiles cried and held them until the sobs turned into hiccups and finally, he looked back up at Derek with eyes red rimmed and puffy.

“I can’t decide,” Stiles whispered hollowly, in between hiccups, “if it would be better or worse to ask to kiss you once. Just once. Then I would leave you alone.”

Derek bit his lip. They both knew it would be worse. He could see it in Stiles’ eyes that he knew very well but didn’t care. Honestly, neither did Derek. He knew it would be hard to stop once they started. Maybe Stiles wanted it to go that way. He was probably hoping that once they kissed, Derek would change his mind. But he wouldn’t and Stiles knew that as well. Still, he obliged.

He reached down a shaking hand to tenderly cup Stiles’ jaw. He leaned in, kissed away a stray tear, and then stared into Stiles’ eyes. They stood that way for a minute until finally, Derek pressed their lips together. He lightly took Stiles’ bottom lip between his own and sucked it. Then, he moved to the top. Stiles opened his mouth slightly, allowing Derek’s tongue to slide in. His hand slithered around Derek’s neck and his fingers curled in his dark hair.

The kiss was slow and gentle. Time stopped as Derek’s tongue danced in his mouth. His fingers pushed harder into Stiles’ jaw, leaving little red marks. Stiles’ vision exploded in blasts of red and orange. He pushed their bodies closer together, mind dully noting how they seemed to fit perfectly together. _Like puzzle pieces_. Derek’s other arm slid around Stiles’ waist, hand meshing into the small of his back. He explored Derek’s mouth with his own tongue, using this chance to trace every inch.

He tasted like rain and the forest; like lust and the wild. It blended together until all it was only _Derek_. His fingers curled tighter in Derek’s hair and he tugged him closer. Their noses were pressing against each other. Their foreheads knocked together with each give and take. Yet there was nothing uncomfortable about it. The world faded away until it was only two and all they could focus on was each other.

Lightly, Derek bit Stiles’ bottom lip and Stiles gave a whimper in return. Derek smiled into the kiss and did it again but harder. Stiles gripped Derek’s shirt until he lost feeling in his hand. The kiss became more frenzied and passionate. With each moment, they could feel the kiss slipping away. And just like that, it was over. They were left with panting and staring silently at each other with bruised lips and their tastes, still mingled together.

Stiles was still clutching Derek’s shirt but his hand had fallen away from his hair. Derek ran a shaking finger over Stiles’ bruised lips. Stiles closed his eyes and kissed it softly before the hand moved back away. He didn’t let go of Derek’s shirt. Instead, he clutched it tightly and whispered, in a broken voice, “It would have been better if it wasn’t a goodbye.”

“Not everything is made to last.”

“This goodbye isn’t made to last.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Derek contended with a sigh.

“I am. You just don’t know it yet.” Stiles leaned in and placed a soft, lingering kiss on Derek’s cheek. As he walked away, Derek heard tears dripping to the forest floor.

*****

Stiles had spent the weekend sulking alone and avoiding everyone, including his dad. He had twenty-three missed calls from Scott, five from Allison on behalf of Scott, and three from Jackson. There were also about fifty unopened texts from Scott. He could guess what each of them had to say. His dad hadn’t managed to get anything out of him, but not for lack of trying.

As soon as he got to school Monday morning, he was ambushed by Scott and Allison. Allison stood by his locker while Scott pulled him to the side and tried to figure out what was going on. Stiles put on a fake smile and said he had lost his phone. He found it this morning under his bed, of all places. Scott gave him worried eyes but, for the most part, seemed to believe him. Stiles gave Allison a shaky smile for good measure and watched as they walked away.

He wasn’t let off so easily, though. When he opened his locker, he was rewarded with it being slammed shut and Jackson staring down at him. “What?” Stiles groaned in annoyance.

“Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah.”

“And what happened?”

“We made out… But only after I asked because he told me we couldn’t be together.”

“Oh.” Jackson’s face fell and he ran a hand through his always perfect hair. “I’m sorry, dude. He has feelings for you, though?”

“Yeah, not like it matters. Apparently, it’s bad for the pack or something and I’m young and I’ll get over it.”

“Basically a load of bullshit.”

“Pretty much. I mean, he was just as hurt as me even if he tried not to let me see it. He’s just so fucking stubborn.” Stiles gave an exasperated sigh.

“So, what’re you gonna do?” Jackson asked. His voice seemed genuinely concerned, which didn’t seem to surprise Stiles anymore. (The fact that it didn’t surprise him anymore surprised him, though.)

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out, I guess. I don’t think the “getting over him” route is really going to work this time. I can still try it, though…”

The last statement was met with a steely glare. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Shut up, it’s my choice remember?”

“Whatever, man. I’m not picking up the pieces.” He rolled his eyes and walked away.

He reopened his locker and got his books out. The day was a painful blur until, in Chemistry, he got an idea. This idea was somewhat shallow and he would totally feel guilty later but for now, he had to pull it off while he still could. “Danny,” he hissed as he leaned over to his lab partner.

“What?” Danny hissed back. He didn’t turn to Stiles. Instead, he kept poring over his work.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You’re going to, anyways.”

“I am. Okay, so… Would you possibly go out with me in preferably a date like manner? I’m not going to be picky but I am definitely asking you out on a date.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?” Danny replied.

“Yes?”

“This isn’t you trying to prove some weird point to yourself?”

“No! I mean, it may _prove_ a point but the point is not to prove a point. I am genuinely asking you out. Should I have bought you a bouquet and chocolate or something?” Stiles rambled nervously. There was a pit in his stomach filled with a mixture of pain, guilt, and nervousness. He actually _did_ have a crush on Danny… It was just miniscule compared to Derek.

Danny rolled his eyes “No, thank god you didn’t.”

“So?”

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this. Sure, Stiles, I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Stiles eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened leading to another eye roll from Danny. “What are you serious?” Stiles squeaked, voice a little lower than a yell.

“Mr. Stilinksi!” The teacher snapped. Everyone was staring at Stiles, making him flush a deep red.

“Oh my fucking god,” Danny muttered, hiding his face in his hands.

“Sorry, didn’t take my meds this morning.” He gave a wide grin to their disgruntled professor and turned back to Danny. “Dinner tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? I guess so. What time?”

“7:30?”

“Really? 7: _30_?”

“It’s a perfectly good time!” Stiles responded in a whisper-yell. Danny gave him an endearing grin.

“Alright, well you know where I live.” Stiles nodded and turned back to his work.

Inside, he was buzzing. Part of him wanted things to work out with Danny and to get over Derek. The other part wanted Derek to get jealous and claim him for his own. Both sides seemed to agree on wanting Derek jealous, though.

Which is, of course, the first thing Jackson thought as soon as he heard about the upcoming date. Stiles was once again greeted by his locker being slammed shut. “What the fuck, Stiles? You’re seriously using _my best friend_ to get to Derek?”

“Hello to you, too. And, no, I’m not using him. I’ve liked him for awhile and I’m trying to get on with my life.”

“Really? Because that’s not what I heard this morning.”

“I was stressed this morning.”

“And what’s going to happen the next time you’re stressed? Are you going to break Danny’s heart just because you’re in a bad mood and didn’t think this through?” Of times in which Jackson surprised him, this was one. He was dangerously smart and cared a lot about his friends. With the bonus wolf blood, it was even worse. Stiles chewed his lip while he thought over a response.

“Listen, you’re right, I didn’t think this all the way through. But it’s not just to get back at Derek. I mean, sure, it’ll be great to see him seething with jealousy but that’s not why I asked out Danny. I just need to forget about Derek as much as possible, right now.”

“Then you better stay away from training because I’m not having you near him while you’re dating my best friend.”

“Fair,” Stiles relented with a sigh. “But can you not tell Scott?”

“It’s not my business to tell your best friend about how your relationship with out pack leader isn’t working out so you’re getting back at him by dating my best friend who- yes, I get it- you like, but not as much as said pack leader.”

“You make it sound so bad.”

“It is…” Jackson responded slowly.

“I know but you don’t have to _make it_ sound so bad.”

Jackson shrugged. “Whatever. Just stay away from Derek and try not to fuck things up too much, okay?”

Stiles saluted and, as soon as Jackson was well away, banged his head into his locker.

*****

It was exactly 7:30pm on Tuesday night and Stiles was standing on Danny’s doorstep in jeans and a white button up under a black blazer. He was shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waited for Danny. When the door opened, he smiled widely and took in the splendor of his date. Danny’s clothes- black sweater, blue jeans- were well fitted to show off his toned physique.

“I would have brought flowers but I felt that’d be too cliché and sappy.”

“It’s fine- you look fine,” Danny said with a grin.

A blush crept up Stiles’ face and he held out his arm. He bowed while Danny took it and then stood back up. Danny rolled his eyes but he was smiling. For an instant, Derek was forgotten and he was just a normal teenager; one not entrenched in the supernatural. They walked to Stiles’ beat up Jeep and left for the restaurant.

The drive was quiet. Both he and Danny were nervous so they let the music wash over them. He could feel Danny’s eyes on him. Whenever he returned the glance, Danny’s eyes fled to the window. “What?” Stiles asked when he felt Danny’s eyes on him again.

“You look really peaceful when you’re driving. I’ve known you for years and you’ve _never_ looked peaceful.” There was a hint of awe in Danny’s voice.

“Really? Never?”

“No, you’re normally all high energy and kind of chaotic.”

Stiles grinned. “Sounds like me.”

“I guess Jackson was wrong,” Danny said more to himself than anything.

“What?” Stiles slammed on the brake. “What did Jackson say?”

“Woah, there’s the Stiles I know. He said you might be a bit far away tonight. You’re getting over some guy or something.”

“I can’t believe he told you that.”

“So it’s true?”

“Yeah but I can’t believe he told you that.” Stiles gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He let out a deep breath and unclenched his hands, flexing them to get the blood circulating.

“He’s my best friend, dude.”

“I know. I get it. I just thought he _cared_. Like I was telling him a secret and he wasn’t supposed to tell. Or he could have at least asked me or told me or something.”

“He does care. Jackson just wanted me to know so I wouldn’t freak out. He said, and I quote, “Underneath his annoying exterior, Stiles is actually a good guy. He’s going through a lot right now so be patient because he’s worth it.” End quote.”

Stiles looked at Danny and sighed. “I can’t believe he said that. Sorry for freaking out on you. It’s been a stressful past couple of weeks.”

Danny nodded. “Don’t worry. I know you were in the school that night. I can’t imagine what you all went through…”

“Yeah that was a pretty traumatic night,” Stiles lied. “Anyways, let’s go to dinner and salvage the rest of this date.”

“You up for it?”

“ _Hell yes_. And then we’re both going to annoy Jackson about it.”

*****

It was exactly 11:28pm on Tuesday night when Derek Hale climbed through his window. Stiles turned around to a mini heart attack. “Okay, woah. First of all, doors. Second, I thought you weren’t going to see me or something. Third, Jackson is actually going to kill me if he finds out I saw you. Like Unsolved Mysteries style.”

Derek sniffed the air. His nose scrunched up in distaste and his eyebrows furrowed. “Why do you smell like Danny?”

“We went on a date. See: Point three.” Stiles rolled his eyes and sat down on his bed. He leaned his head against the headboard and crossed his arms.

“You went on a date… With Danny?” _Ah, there’s the jealousy_. Derek looked halfway between crying and committing murder.

“Yeah, and it was a good date.”

He walked closer to Stiles and sniffed his shirt.

“Woah dude. We are in a no-sniffing zone relationship. You have to stay 30 feet away from me at all times. Maybe 40. I’ll ask Jackson because _have I mentioned he is going to kill me?_ ”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Derek finally said with a sigh. He plopped down in Stiles’ computer chair. He ran his hand over his face and Stiles could suddenly see how tired he was. It was as if he hadn’t slept in days.

“Shit, when’s the last time you slept?” Stiles asked, suddenly worried. He stood up and crossed the room. Slowly, he reached out and rubbed the back of Derek’s neck. Derek leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

“The night before we kissed,” Derek answered. Stiles began rubbing his shoulders and positioned his chin on top of Derek’s head. Derek tilted his head back as far as possible and relaxed his body.

“Mmm, I see. Maybe you should sleep and then we can talk? You look half dead.”

Derek shook his head as best he could. “No, we need to talk now.”

“Since I am part of this conversation I am requesting you sleep.”

He was answered with Derek pushing him back against the desk and standing up quickly. “Stiles, I’m not leaving until we talk, okay?”

“We’re talking and you can sleep on my floor, if you have to. There’s a nice corner over there,” he pointed to the corner farthest from his bed, “that is perfect for sleep deprived werewolves.”

“ _Stiles_.” Stiles moved back towards his door, as if to leave the room. Derek followed him. “I will leave as soon as this conversation ends and, if you want, you don’t have to see me again.”

“You know I don’t want that,” Stiles whispered painfully.

“Well, I won’t be able to sleep until I’ve talked to you. Okay?”

“What do you need to say? You’ve already made it clear that I’m not good enough for you.”

“When did I ever say that?”

“Okay, you never exactly said, “ _Stiles, you’re not good enough for me, sexy werewolf man._ ” It was more along the lines of you saying that you I was “bad for the pack”. Or more specifically, we were. Like, am I not good enough for you to parade around as your mate or whatever? Are you embarrassed to have feelings for me or something? I’m just some stupid kid with a crush and that’s danger for the pack. I mean, I really don’t know what the fuck your problem is. Jackson totally approves and Danny thinks I’m a catch. Scott might be a little angry but he’s my best friend and you’re _you_. So, it must be your problem.”

“Stiles, you idiot, shut up.”

“Make me,” Stiles replied defiantly.

Derek sighed. In an instant, he had grabbed Stiles’ wrists and pushed him against the wall. Their lips were crushed together. Stiles flailed in confusion and managed to push Derek away. “What. Was that?”

“I was trying to get you to stop rambling.”

“You don’t just _kiss someone_ to shut them up. That’s incredibly unfair!”

“Stop yelling. I didn’t mean you aren’t good enough for me. You’re _too_ good for me. I could hurt you or even kill you. I have to lead the pack and with you there, I’d be distracted. Not to mention, you could be used as bait to get to me. I don’t know what I’d do if anything were to happen to you. You have a chance to be happy without all this,” he gestured to himself, obviously meaning the supernatural, “and to have a life where you’re safe and stable. You wouldn’t have to fight for your life just because of who you’re dating.”

“Oh,” Stiles managed to say before his breath left him in a whoosh.

“I love you,” Derek finished quietly. At that point, Stiles’ knees gave out and he ended up falling to the floor like a fair maiden. Derek hunkered down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Woah, yeah. Just feelings and unexpected and _woah_.” Stiles’ hands were moving erratically with his words and his eyes were frenzied.

“You’re making less sense than usual, Stiles.”

“No, no. I get that. I do. It’s just _you love me_.”

“I did say that,” Derek confirmed with a nod.

“You love _me_. _You_ love _me_.”

“Are you going to continue repeating that with emphasis on different words? You’re going to run out of patterns eventually.”

“Shut up, Derek, I’m thinking.” He flailed his hand in front of Derek’s face and stared down at the ground. One hand was stroking his chin while the other was still flailing in the air.

“Stiles-“

“I said shut up!”

Derek sighed and relented. He sat down criss-cross on the ground in front of Stiles. Stiles looked as if he was having an existential crisis. He muttered incomprehensibly to himself under his breath for a few minutes before he finally came to a conclusion. “Okay so, I have reached my verdict.”

“And what is that, Judge Stilinski?”

“Shut up, I’m trying to talk. This is serious. Okay so, I totally love you, too, and seeing as I am most definitely a part of this relationship, then I get to choose what’s best for me. Therefore, I do believe you are what’s best for me. And, if not, I really don’t give a single fuck. However, if you get me killed, I am coming back as a ghost and haunting your little werewolf ass. And, if you fall in love with anyone else-”

“I won’t.”

“If you fall in love with anyone else, I will haunt them, too.”

“Isn’t that selfish? Wouldn’t you want me to be happy?”

“Hell yes it’s selfish. So was not wanting to be with me so you could save yourself.”

“That’s not-“

“Please, it doesn’t matter how you meant it, it still was.”

“Who can blame me? You’re perfect.” He leaned in close to Stiles and smiled. This was a real, genuine smile; the likes of which Stiles had never before seen. It was like discovering a new animal or solving an age old mystery.

“You’re beautiful when you smile, you know?” Stiles reached out and ran a finger over Derek’s lips. He smiled wider, grabbed Stiles’ hand, and kissed it.

“I’m not beautiful all the time?”

Stiles shoved him playfully. “You’re always _smoldering_ but when you smile… God, it’s something else.”

“You’re beautiful, too.”

“I am not. You haven’t slept in five days. You’re probably hallucinating.”

Derek laughed and grabbed his face between his hands. “No, I’m not. You’re beautiful even when I’m sleep deprived. It’s blinding.”

Stiles struggled out of the grasp and pushed Derek away. “You need to _sleep_. You are _seeing things_.”

“All I’m seeing is an angel.”

“Oh my god. The first sign of insanity. Don’t die on me, Derek.”

“Do I get to sleep in your bed if I give up and agree with you?”

Stiles tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Hmmm… Well, I _guess_ so. However, if Jackson kills me, you have to avenge my death.”

“Deal.” Derek stripped off his shirt and pushed Stiles down on the bed. Stiles laughed and pressed against his chest. Derek rolled over onto his back and Stiles kneeled down above him. He leaned over and kissed Derek slowly. It was like their first kiss but, instead of a goodbye, it was a promise of more to come. Stiles pulled away and got up to turn off the lights.

He curled back up on the bed, head on Derek’s chest and Derek’s arm wrapped around him. He was warm and the sound of his breathing and his heartbeat were comforting. It felt right; maybe even meant to be. He nuzzled his head into the crook between Derek’s shoulder and neck and was greeted with a light kiss. He smiled contentedly. “I love you,” he whispered softly into Derek’s neck.

He could feel Derek’s lips curve up into a smile against his hair. “I love you, too.”

“You better.”

After that, Stiles began drifting out of consciousness. When he dreamed, he dreamed he was one with Derek. Their thoughts and feelings were blended together until they were just one mind and soul thrumming in time. Through the sleep filled fog, he knew that it was real. In this moment, everything was pure and their minds were touching. And he wasn’t one for faerie tales, but if werewolves were real, then soul mates had to be. It just so happened that his soul mate was a werewolf and he’d be damned if they didn’t live happily ever after. (He’d just have to survive Jackson first.)


End file.
